Are we living in an era of Male Bashing simply because women now consider themselves equal to men or is it because women are disappointed in how men behave today? I hear it regularly when women discuss men, whether in a group setting or in a one-on-one: “Guys are pricks! “Men are selfish bastards!” “They’re all a bunch of liars and cheats!” “They’re nothing but egomaniacs!” and so on and so forth. It is so disheartening to hear since I know many wonderful single men.
There is an enormous amount of mistrust of men that all single women seem to share. Even after a woman is ready to get back into the dating pool, she still feels a little disheartened as to whether this time she will meet a guy she can trust. So just what is going on with men that women are so mistrustful of them?
First of all, the human male is an autonomous sexual being who NEEDS physical intimacy in his life whether he’s in love or not. It is nature’s way of ensuring that the next generation will be born!
Add to that, sex once belonged entirely in the marriage bed, now due to the late 60’s sexual revolution and equality between the sexes, sex is now in every casual bed.
Add even more to that, for the human female, who is a bonding emotional being, sex and mating are intertwined due to how the female brain is hardwired. A woman will produce high levels of the bonding neurochemical oxytocin during sex.
This is the reason why women think and especially younger women, that sex with her partner will make him bond and want to mate the same as she does. This is only female perception. Men don’t bond nor feel the need to mate the same as women do when it comes to sex because his oxytocin is blocked by testosterone. Why do you think it is always the woman who feels compelled to initiate, The Talk?!
For a man being single, today means, he’s either just out of a relationship or he’s in a ‘for now’ relationship until the love of his life shows up and he decides to marry. Until then, he will be in and out of ‘for the time being’ relationships due to his innate need for physical companionship.
Because of this fact, your average single woman is meeting, as well as dating, mainly men who are on the rebound, or unbeknownst to her, she’s gotten herself into a short-term relationship. Both these situations are very harmful to a woman’s self-esteem not to mention her love life! This all makes male bashing the most popular way women can express their disappointment with men.
It is important that actively dating women educate themselves about men on the rebound or whether they are in something that is only short term.
Signs you’re dating a rebound guy:
- He talks about his ex-partner constantly.
- He is still emotionally attached to his ex-partner.
- He is needy & self-absorbed.
- He wants to get into another relationship right away.
- He doesn’t act too interested in you as a person.
- He can’t make up his mind if you are the one.
- He can’t keep his commitment once back into a relationship.
Signs you’re in a short-term relationship:
- He treats you more like a buddy than a girlfriend.
- He does more activities with his friends than with you.
- He only pays more attention to you when you are physically intimate.
- He doesn’t even want to discuss marriage in the future.
- He’s still actively looking for a long-term partner.
Smart single women look for signs from every guy she meets if he’s ready for a relationship, and a long-term one at that. Knowledge is power!
The fact is there is only one way for a single woman to eliminate being disappointed in a man and that is to wait for the guy to emotional connect before having sex! When a man connects to a woman emotionally, his testosterone levels drop and this allows his oxytocin to flow freely so he too can bond. Have you ever seen a man in love? A guy crazy in love becomes as docile as a puppy and weak-kneed, this is due to a slight drop in testosterone.
The truth is that regardless of the fact that times have changed and we now live in an area of equality and casual sex, there are a lot of amazing men in this world who know how to treat a woman and treat her well. Yet, it’s up to the woman just how well she wants to be treated.
Linda Jean Runstein is a Certified Professional Dating & Relationship Coach, CPC, CRC, CBEC, Personal Image Coach, Love Science Mentor, Consultant, Author & Public Speaker.
Nationally recognized as a phenomenal dating expert, Ms. Runstein was voted by her peers as America’s # One Dating Genius for her straight forward, insightful, perceptive & ingenious dating advice as a dating coach & consultant for the past 15 years! Read More!