Are we living in an era of Male Bashing simply because women now consider themselves equal to men or is it because women are disappointed in how men behave today?
I hear it regularly when women discuss men, whether in a group setting or in a one-on-one: “Guys are pricks! “Men are selfish bastards!” “They’re all a bunch of liars and cheats!” “They’re nothing but sex maniacs!” and so forth and so on. It is so disheartening to hear since I know many wonderful single men.
There is an enormous amount of mistrust of men that all single women seem to share. Even after a woman is ready to get back into the dating pool, she still feels a little disheartened as to whether this time she will meet a guy she can trust. So just what is going on with today’s single men that make women so mistrustful of them?
That question can only be answered with the understanding that men and women are instinctually as well as biologically total opposites.
First – the human male is innately and biologically an AUTONOMOUS SEXUAL being who NEEDS physical intimacy in his life whether he’s in love or not. It is nature’s way of ensuring that the next generation will be born!
Add to that – sex once belonged in the marriage bed, but since the late 60’s sexual revolution and equality between the sexes, sex is now in every casual bed!
Add even more to that – the human female is innately as well as biologically a very strong EMOTIONAL BONDER. A necessity that nature requires ensuring that the female stays with her partner as well as for caring & communicating with her offspring’s. For example, mothers communicate with their newborns and toddlers through their strong feminine emotions.
For the human female, physical intimacy and emotional bonding are intertwined due to how the female brain is hardwired. A woman produces high levels of the bonding neurochemical oxytocin during sex. This means that for sexually active single women, casual sex automatically becomes in her thought processes, we’re heading for a serious relationship because now he’s really into me, kind of sex!
This is the reason why women think and especially younger women, that sex with a guy she likes will seriously make him bond with her, which makes him feel the same way. This is only female perception. Men don’t bond through sex because a male’s oxytocin is blocked by testosterone. Why do you think it is always the woman who feels compelled to initiate, The Talk?!
So, for today’s single male, he’s either just out of a long-term relationship and rebounding or he’s living the single life with a few females on his roster that he’s got seeing/sleeping with him exclusively or he’s in a ‘for now’ relationship until the love of his life shows up and he decides to marry.
Because of this fact, single women are dating men who are on the rebound, or they’ve bonded through sex and made themselves exclusive with a guy who, unbeknownst to them, is also seeing other women or worse they’ve gotten themselves into a short-term relationship.
All these situations are very harmful to a woman’s self-esteem not to mention her love life. Feminism may have taken women out of the kitchen and into the boardroom, but it also has them being used and disheartened in the bedroom! This all makes male bashing the most popular way women can express their disappointment with men.
It is important that actively dating women educate themselves about men on the rebound or whether they are in something that is short term.
Signs you’re dating a rebound guy:
He talks about his ex-partner constantly.
He is still emotionally attached to his ex-partner.
He is needy & self-absorbed.
He looking to get into another relationship right away.
He doesn’t act too interested in you as a person.
He can’t make up his mind if you are the one.
He can’t keep his commitment once back into a relationship.
Signs you’re in a short-term relationship:
He treats you more like a buddy than a girlfriend.
He does more activities with his friends than with you.
He only pays more attention to you when you are physically intimate.
He doesn’t even want to discuss marriage in the future.
He’s still actively looking for a long-term partner.
A smart single woman will take the time necessary to look for signs (actions more than words) from a guy she’s dating if he’s really into her and ready for a relationship, and a long-term one at that. Knowledge is power!
The fact is there is only one way for a single woman to eliminate being disappointed in a man and that is to wait for the guy to emotional connect before having sex! When a man connects to a woman emotionally, his testosterone levels drop and this allows his oxytocin to flow freely so he too can bond. Have you ever noticed a man as he begins to fall in love? A guy crazy in love becomes as docile as a puppy and weak-kneed, this is due to a natural drop in testosterone.
The truth is that although times have changed and we now live in an era of equality and casual sex, there are a lot of amazing men in this world who know how to treat a woman and treat her well. Yet, it will always be up to the woman just how well she wants to be treated, because she’s the emotional bonder, not him and being a strong active feminist isn’t going to change it.
Most importantly, women must understand that casual sex is not a problem for a guy, but it will cause (hell hath no fury than a woman scorned) emotional havoc on a woman. Hence, male bashing! It’s a double standard, not created by man, but by the differences in our nature and biology.