As the lyrics go from the song of the famous musical, Fiddler on the Roof . . .
Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match. Find me a find, catch me a catch. Matchmaker, matchmaker look through your book and make me a perfect match!
I know many matchmakers. I have recommended them to clients, not only in Denver but also coast to coast. I believe matchmaking experts are a far better choice when seeking a long-term partner than dating sites, dating apps or even social media sites!
Why? Because single people of all ages and backgrounds need all the help and support they can get while looking for their significant other as far as I’m concerned. No one can do that better and more successfully than a qualified matchmaker, period!
Yet, most importantly is the fact that only serious minded singles become their clients. That is, individuals who are serious about finding, the one! Your time and money will never be wasted on a matchmaker! Unless, of course, you demand a perfect human being, which, you can only lay claim once you’re in love and not before!
The biggest grievance that all matchmakers seem to share is female clients who have a list of what they want in a partner. Did I say, want? To be blunt it is more what they demand in a life partner! Here’s an example of a list . . .
- A couple years older
- No children
- Sense of humor
- Be my best friend
- Is a great lover
- Brown hair
- Blue eyes
- Shares the same interests
- 6 feet tall
- Owns his own home
- No extreme baggage
- Is warm, loving & kind
Now, granted, in some respects, I can sympathize with these matchmakers, yet, only up to a point. To be fair, feminine innate behavior’s and female biology, also play a part in the reasons behind this demanding and often unrealistic list of male qualities and specifics that render matchmakers helpless. This is when I get a call from a matchmaker that I know needing some guidance. Which, I am always more than happy to give.
The human female is by nature, a nurturer and caregiver, while men are by nature, a provider and protector. These dominate innate behaviors are store in the ancient part of the brain that is our nature-based consciousness. There are numerous innate behaviors that are unique to each sex. But most importantly they do not evolve over time. We share the same innate behaviors that our ancient ancestors did from the very beginning of human existence.
It is through this nature-based consciousness that women are made aware of their need to seek out a man who is the most successful as a provider and protector. It is also the reason women often have unrealistic expectations.
Another fact to consider is that since the human female only produces around 300 eggs in her lifetime if she hasn’t had children yet, it’s an uncomfortable unconscious feeling on her part, this too makes her most demanding when choosing the right partner. Yet, the biggest culprit for women seriously looking for certain male qualities and specifics is due to the hormone, Oxytocin.
Oxytocin is a human neuropeptide hormone and is produced by the paraventricular nucleus of the hypothalamus and released by the posterior pituitary. It plays a major role in social bonding, sexual reproduction and during and after childbirth. But most importantly, oxytocin is the reason the human female is a . . . BONDER!
This means we females bond to others 24/7 and 365 days out of the year! We’ll not only want to produce a family to bond with, we’ll also organize groups, clubs, parties, outings & gatherings, associations, and even huge organizations due to the fact we love to bond! Before we can walk or talk, we have already bonded with our parents, our siblings, cousins, the nanny, our stuffed toys and of course, our favorite doll!
By the time, we are teenagers, we’ve bonded with our circle of friends, our first high-school crush, and most popular sports athlete. Not to mention the inside of our locker door at school is decorated with photos of our favorite rock star and actor we’ve bonded to as well. Once we’ve graduated from college with no boyfriend or future husband in sight, we’re more than eager to meet that one special guy to permanently bond with for the rest of our life!
To be precise the human female biologically is:
- Produces 300 eggs
. . . and innately:
- Unconditional Relational
- Centered on her wants
- Communicates through emotions
Matchmakers should take note, that these statistics, fully explain why single women feel the need to be extremely selective as to what they want in a partner!
A list of specifics and traits helps keep what’s most important to a woman the goal to achieve while dealing with her feminine nature and her unique biology! Even if the list is unrealistic, it is something she can relate to while seeking her mate!
So how best to handle a client with a list? Go with the most important specifics and traits on the list that relate to the provider and protector in a man! For example, he owns his own home and or business or he’s successful and responsible, etc. If those aren’t listed, which if your client is human and female should already be listed, make a point to tell the client that they should be there.
It is the most important thing to a woman when it comes down to attraction and chemistry. Even women who are financially independent will instantly be attracted to the provider and protector traits and or specifics in a potential mate.
Once the client realizes, and she will, those items are the most significant in finding a perfect match, all other mentions on the list like, how he physically should look or if he shares all her interest will mean very little in the scheme of things.
If the truth to be told, though a list offers something that’s visual to go by, love itself is totally blind! If you’re a matchmaker reading this article . . . now you can tackle those lists! Trust me, this isn’t rocket science, it’s love science!